Pastor Tricia's Ramblings

Have you ever found yourself grappling with moments of selfishness? Perhaps you encountered it within yourself, or observed its manifestation in someone else’s actions. It’s an all-too-common trait characterized by pride, arrogance, greed, and ego. Yet, what’s often overlooked are the more subtle aspects of selfishness, like low self-esteem, shame, and excessive humility. These qualities can also influence our behavior and relationships in significant ways.
As we dive into the life changing principles found in Matthew 6:33, which invites us to “seek first His kingdom and His righteousness,” we will explore how we can transition from self-centeredness to a life of selflessness. Our goal is to cultivate actions that glorify God, serve others, and ultimately, fulfill the divine purpose inherent in all of us.

Recognizing Selfishness

Selfishness manifests itself in myriad forms. It might be evident in the prideful boasting of accomplishments, or it could lurk in the shadows of excessive humility that draws attention to our struggles. In examining our interactions, we might ask ourselves how often we find our thoughts revolving around “I,” “my,” and “mine.” These possessive words often signify a focus on ourselves rather than a perspective that includes others.
Selfishness can ultimately create a barrier between us and the wise counsel of God, leading us to ignore godly wisdom simply because facing the truth of our selfishness can be uncomfortable. As a result, we may find ourselves entangled in a web of denial, unwilling to confront the harsh reality of how our self-centeredness impacts both our spiritual lives and our relationships with others.

My Personal Struggle with Selfishness

Many years ago, I battled with a struggle that brought my own selfishness into sharp focus—anorexia nervosa. The obsession with controlling my body and the relentless pursuit of perfection consumed my every thought. The focus was solely on what I wanted—when I could squeeze in a workout, how I could avoid eating, and how to be alone to indulge in destructive behaviors.
Caught in this cycle of self-absorption, shame brewed within as I confronted my behavior and the consequences that came with it. Believing that I could not share my struggles due to the fear of judgment, I retreated further into isolation, completely blinded by my own self-centered desires.
As I navigated those dark times, it became painfully clear: selfishness leaves no room for genuine connection, compassion, or understanding of anything beyond my circumstances. It taints our perception of reality, and in its grips, we often lose sight of what is truly valuable.

The Challenge of Selflessness

The journey to selflessness isn’t an easy one, especially when our focus has been centered on ourselves. To cultivate a life defined by service to God and others requires a radical shift in our mindset. Often, we may find ourselves engaging in good deeds, but our motives can still be self-serving.
We might volunteer our time or contribute to charitable causes, but if the underlying goal is to seek recognition or approval, we’re missing the point. Matthew 6:1 warns, “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them.” When our intention is to garner praise rather than to glorify God or genuinely help others, our actions, even if well-meaning, remain tinged with selfishness.

The Critical Shift: Focusing on God

To truly move from selfishness to selflessness, we must anchor our focus on God. Matthew 6:33 states, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
This keyword “seek” invites us to pursue God with intentionality and urgency. As we face the challenges linearly, we begin to understand that selflessness operates within the context of seeking God’s kingdom first. When we prioritize Him, we shift the focus from our own desires to the greater calling of serving His purpose.

Understanding the Divine Exchange

When we seek God authentically, we create room for transformation. This divine exchange allows our minds and hearts to be realigned. Romans 12:2 encourages this concept, saying, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
As we draw closer to God through prayer, worship, and studying the Word, a spiritual metamorphosis begins to occur within us. We start recognizing our inherent worth as children of God, freeing us from the chains of low self-esteem and shame.
Trusting God to guide our steps, we begin to bond with others authentically, forming genuine relationships rooted in love and service. Instead of feeling the need to bolster our ego through accolades, we find fulfillment in glorifying God through acts of kindness and compassion.

The Role of Community

The early church in Acts 2:45 presents a powerful testament to selflessness: “And they sold their possessions and goods and divided them among all, as anyone had need.” No one person received credit for acts of service; their focus wasn’t on individual accolades but rather on being the collective body of Christ.
What would the world look like if we shifted our focus from ourselves to God and allowed the Holy Spirit to flow through us, serving others instead? Imagine a community where giving, sharing, and serving were about lifting others—the essence of selflessness transcending the selfishness that often compels us.
Being selfless entails letting others serve us as well. It’s easy to reciprocate when we are served, but accepting help can challenge our preconceived notions of strength and independence. Admitting a need isn’t a weakness; it’s an opportunity for others to experience their own selflessness.
Galatians 6:2 encourages us to “bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Allowing others to engage in acts of service toward us, even when uncomfortable, fosters community, trust, and connection.
I recall a lesson learned when a friend offered me a book I had been wanting. Despite my instinct to decline, I recognized that allowing her to give was an opportunity for her to extend kindness and serve me. This nurturing exchange allowed both of us to benefit in our relationship while reinforcing the idea that selflessness won’t always manifest in the ways we expect.

The Importance of Intentionality

Recognizing selfishness in our lives is only the first step. Breaking free from it requires intentionality. Here are a few practical strategies to help guide this transformation:

1. Reflect on Your Motives: Prioritize regular self-reflection to evaluate your actions and motives. Ask yourself if the desire to be seen influences your decisions, or if you genuinely want to serve God and others. Keeping a journal may aid in highlighting patterns you hadn’t recognized before.
2. Practice Gratitude: Thankfulness shifts our focus from “what I need” to “what I have.” By acknowledging the blessings in our lives, we can cultivate a sense of contentment, helping to curb feelings of selfishness.
3. Commit to Prayer: Establish a prayer routine where you ask God for guidance in your relationships. Pray not only for your needs but also for opportunities to serve others, aligning your heart closer to His intentions.
4. Engage in Acts of Service: Look for ways to serve within your community or church, even in small acts. Volunteering can push us out of our comfort zones and provide much-needed perspective on the needs around us.
5. Allow Vulnerability: Don’t shy away from being open about your limits. Sharing your challenges with trusted individuals creates an environment where true selflessness can blossom, allowing others to support and uplift you.
6. Surround Yourself with Positive Influence: Build relationships with individuals who model selflessness in their lives. Learning from their examples can encourage and challenge us to pursue a similar lifestyle.

Finding Fulfillment in Selflessness

The beauty of shifting our focus from self to God lies not only in pleasing Him but also in experiencing lasting fulfillment. John 15:13 emphasizes this truth: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” When we embrace selflessness, we discover the profound joy of investing in others, realizing our purpose is intertwined with theirs.
Consequently, the life Almighty God calls us to live—one rich in love, service, and community—will bear fruit that surpasses any fleeting desire rooted in selfish ambition.

Conclusion: A Life Worth Living

The call to embrace a selfless life challenges the very core of our ingrained selfish tendencies. By confronting our motives and prioritizing God’s kingdom, we embark on a journey of transformation that enriches both our lives and the lives of those around us.
Matthew 6:33 serves as a guiding light, directing us to seek God above all else. As we commit to living selflessly, we will embody the essence of Christ’s love, drawing ourselves and others ever closer to Him.
Each intentional step we take away from selfishness and toward selflessness cultivates an atmosphere where God’s presence thrives, creating a legacy of love and connection. So let’s strive to live in alignment with God’s truth—placing His kingdom first—therefore experiencing the abundant life He promises to all who believe.
Imagine how different our world could be if we became the blessing instead of expecting to be blessed. Engaging in this transformative journey is of paramount importance, as it leads us into a deeper relationship with God and others. Together, let us embody this selfless calling and allow the Holy Spirit to flow through us, blessed to be a blessing in our communities, churches, and beyond.