Scripture Focus:
“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” — Proverbs 13:20
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” — Ecclesiastes 4:12
Introduction: Living Holy in a Lonely World
To be set apart is to be different. In a culture where conformity is celebrated, holiness feels like rebellion. It can be lonely. When you start living by God’s standards, you’ll often feel like an outsider. That’s because you are.
Jesus Himself said that His followers are “not of this world” (John 17:16). We are called to be light in darkness, salt in a flavorless society, and a city on a hill that cannot be hidden. But God never meant for us to walk that road alone.
To walk in holiness, to live a life that reflects Jesus, requires intentional relationships. The truth is: you will become like the people you walk with. And if you’re going to be set apart, you must surround yourself with people who are also set apart.
Transformation Starts With God, But Grows With Others
Everything starts with your relationship with God. To be holy is first to know God and to let Him change you from the inside out. Holiness is not a behavior upgrade—it’s a heart transformation. But once that transformation begins, you’ll find that your relationships begin to shift as well.
When your heart starts beating in rhythm with God’s, you’ll stop dancing to the beat of the world. You’ll start seeing through new eyes. Your language, your values, your desires—they all change. That’s when the tension starts to rise.
You’ll find yourself misunderstood. Excluded. Isolated. But hear this: being set apart doesn’t mean being set aside.
While your faith is personal, it is never meant to be private. God calls us into community—into a circle of people who can encourage us, correct us, pray for us, and pull us forward when we’re stuck.
Why the Right People Matter
Proverbs 13:20 gives us a powerful warning and a promise:
“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”
It’s a truth that applies to every generation, but especially now when compromise is common and true holiness is rare.
- You become like who you hang out with.
- You catch their habits, their language, their attitudes.
- If you’re hanging with the apathetic, you’ll grow cold.
- But if you walk with the passionate, your fire will grow.
That’s why your circle matters. It’s not about being exclusive. It’s about being wise. If you’re going to live for God in a culture that celebrates self, sin, and self-indulgence, you need godly people around you.
People who love Jesus, love His Word, and love you enough to say, “Nope. That’s not who you are anymore.”
Even Jesus Had a Circle
Let’s look at Jesus. He had crowds around Him constantly. He had followers, disciples, and the 12. But even within that 12, there were three—Peter, James, and John—who formed His inner circle.
- He shared deeper moments with them.
- He brought them into His most intimate experiences.
- He let them see both His glory and His agony.
Why? Because even the Son of God modeled what it means to have real, godly community.
So if Jesus needed a circle, what makes us think we don’t?
You need people who know the real you—the unfiltered, struggling, growing you. People who will sit with you in silence, wrestle with you in prayer, and call you back to truth when your heart starts to wander.
Iron Sharpens Iron: Growth Through Godly Friction
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” — Proverbs 27:17
Real friendships aren’t just about laughing at memes or sharing coffee dates. Real, godly friendships are refining. They challenge you to grow.
Godly friends don’t let you settle. They call you higher. They hold up a mirror and say, “Look, this doesn’t line up with who God says you are.” And then they walk with you as you change.
This kind of sharpening only happens when you allow yourself to be vulnerable. When you stop pretending. When you let people into the places you usually guard.
But hear this: iron sharpening iron can spark. It might sting. It might not feel good. But it will make you better. And when both pieces of iron are chasing God together, the result is a strength that can’t be broken.
The Flock You Fly With
“Birds of a feather flock together.” It’s cliché, but it’s true. The people you surround yourself with will either:
- Pull you away from your calling, or
- Push you deeper into it.
That doesn’t mean you cut off every non-believer in your life. We are still called to be a light to them. But your core—your inner circle—needs to be made up of people who are going the same direction you are.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says:
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
We weren’t meant to fight alone. When one person is weak, the others hold the line. When one is down, the others lift up.
Look for Passion, Not Just Proximity
Don’t just pick people to walk with because they’re close by or because you’ve always been friends. Look for people with passion. People who are chasing God with hunger. People who challenge you to go deeper.
If you’re the most spiritually mature person in your circle, it’s time to find a couple of friends who are further ahead than you. Their fire will feed yours.
But also stay connected to those who are growing with you—friends who can get raw and real, who know your story, and who refuse to let you settle.
You need both:
- Mentors who call you up, and
- Peers who walk with you.
Relationship with Jesus: Personal, Not Private
We often hear that our relationship with Jesus is “personal.” And it is. But don’t confuse personal with private.
Jesus died a very public death for a very personal salvation.
He was humiliated before the world so you could stand before the Father in righteousness. So why are we afraid to live our faith publicly?
If we’re going to live set-apart lives, it’s time to come out of hiding. It’s time to stop pretending, stop isolating, and start connecting with the people God has placed around us to help us grow and go.
If You Don’t Have These People… Ask God
Maybe you’re reading this and thinking, “I don’t have those kinds of people in my life.” Good news: God wants to send them.
Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal them. Pray specifically:
- “Lord, bring people into my life who are chasing You.”
- “Give me boldness to pursue godly friendships.”
- “Help me be the kind of friend I’m looking for.”
God answers these kinds of prayers—because He created you for community.
Accountability Leads to Intimacy
There’s a closeness that forms when you and someone else chase God together. When you study the Word together, pray together, confess struggles, and celebrate victories. That kind of relationship builds intimacy. Not romantic—but spiritual depth.
In these relationships, you find:
- Accountability that keeps you grounded.
- Encouragement that keeps you lifted.
- Correction that keeps you aligned.
- Joy that reminds you God is good.
These relationships move you from surviving to thriving in your walk with God.
God Is Chasing You Too
One final truth: You’re not chasing God alone.
He’s not hiding from you. He’s not running from you. He’s not holding out on you. He is actively pursuing you, every single day.
“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” — Jeremiah 29:13
The question is: Will you run toward Him? Will you lean into the people He sends your way? Will you step into the kind of relationships that build, rather than break?
Conclusion: Set Apart, Together
You were never meant to live a holy life in isolation. You are set apart—but not set aside.
God has placed people around you—some already there, some still coming—who will help you walk in your calling. Don’t let fear, pride, or past wounds keep you from building the circle God wants to give you.
Find the flock that makes your faith stronger. Choose your circle intentionally. Let iron sharpen iron. And let your walk with Jesus go deeper as you walk alongside others who are passionately pursuing Him too.
Ask yourself today:
- Who in my life is helping me grow spiritually?
- Who am I helping in return?
- What steps can I take to build deeper, more godly friendships?
Because in the end, we are set apart—not just for God—but for one another.
#SetApartButNotAlone #GodlyFriendships #IronSharpensIron #PursueGodTogether #PentecostalFaith #ChristianCommunity
Pastor Tricia's Ramblings 
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